Adoption Process – My Other Part-Time Job

I’ve resigned from other extra-curricular and volunteer positions so that I have time to breathe and balance my most important commitments.  Regardless, I don’t feel like I have any extra time because the adoption process is like a part-time job.  The difference compared to my part-time practice is that my chiropractic job is really a full-time job+ with the hours it accrues each week.  Parenting and being a wife and keeping a home–that’s a full-time job.

So, throw in 10+ online hours of Hague convention training, adoption paperwork, appointments, and required text readings (several chunky books), and I feel like I’m in school again.

So far, we’re in the home visit aspect of the process.  We only have a handful of minor details to complete before we’ll get a social worker scheduled to meet with us in our home.  We’re getting a little bit closer!

Today, I took our four year-old son Calvin to a lab where they drew four vials of blood (after sticking his vein twice).  This was a necessary test to prove he doesn’t have tuberculosis.  Yes, we could have done the Mantou skin test, but since there are several studies and reports indicating possible serious side effects in children (similar to having a negative reaction to a vaccine), we opted for a blood draw.  It was somewhat traumatic for Calvin.  He was probably expecting it to feel more like acupuncture needles (he’s used to those needles and they don’t bother him one bit).  Although, I tried to prepare him for the uncomfortable sensation–he sat on my lap, and I coaxed him to turn his face away, he was utterly surprised and mad as a hornet once the needle was in.  After some thrashing about, it was out, and jabbed back in.

The venipuncture technician allowed him to take a breather, sip on water, and try to calm down before she made a second attempt.  I assured him that it would be over quickly, but if he kicked and the needle slipped out, we’d have to do it yet again.  I urged him to sit still, and the second time he did.  As soon as the event was over, I praised him for his bravery and told him we could go home.

On the way out of the lab, he told me with utter distaste, “Mommy, I do NOT like that place. I don’t EVER want to go back there.”

Me: “It’s not fun like Mommy’s office, is it?”

Calvin: “Oh no. It’s not fun. At. All.”

Me: “But, you were SO brave.  I’m so very proud of you.  I can’t wait to tell Daddy.”

He didn’t want me to tell Daddy.  He was in a sore mood and ready to think about something else.  So, we went home where he relaxed on the couch and I let him watch a Leap Frog video while I prepared dinner.

Even after a shower and a show and tell session with Daddy where he showed off his bandage, he continued to remark how sore his arm was after the blood test.

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All three of us have to make some significant sacrifices for the adoption, but as of late, I don’t think any of us sacrificed more than Calvin. He was somewhat prepared for his role in lab tests and physicals after reading the book A Sister for Matthew.